So the past week Porter has been waking up about the same time every night screaming-not normal screaming-crazy baby screaming. This is not like my sweet little boy who has slept through the night for the most part since he was 6 weeks old, and yet I have found myself questioning what in the world has possessed this kid around 1-2 in the morning every single night. I finally just typed in the ever ambiguous, up to interpretation 'what is wrong with my non-sleeping 17 month old?' question and left it up to Google what the answer might be. Turns out Google did. Why have I never heard about this 'developmental stepping stone' also known as pointless screaming and crying without cause, reason and despite the individual apparently still being very tired and desiring to sleep, also known as 18 Month Sleep Regression?
As I read the multiple articles, blogs, and sites on the topic while I was attempting the cry it out method I experienced a change of heart, partially because CIO wasn't really working. There was power that came with the reassurance that this was normal, and that while there pretty much isn't anything I can do besides weather the storm, my attitude towards the situation changed from frustration to compassion immediately. Leaving all lights off, I went and grabbed my crazy, bawling, baby out of the crib and put him down on the floor. He crawled into my lap sucking in air and regaining his composure. He then crawled down our stairs still in the dark and onto our couch and sat there. He reached for my hand and pulled me down to sit next to him. Then this little bug patted me on my lap reassuringly and followed by wiggling his fingers under my hand. There we sat, in the dark, in the silence, both sitting Indian style side by side, holding hands; it was calm, peaceful even, and while it was happening at a rather unfortunate hour, I enjoyed it. After awhile I figured it was time to go back to bed, figuring he would follow me upstairs I went up and crawled into bed, listening to hear him come up, 20 minutes later, no Porter. I had JD go and grab him, and he was still in the same place just sitting there in silence. JD cuddled him, and put him back down and he slept through the rest of the night.
Since I was wide awake after all of this due to the inability to fall back asleep, which has been the case every night this week, I was able to think a bit on the events of this week and this night in particular. I feel like I sometimes go through my own 'sleep regression' things are off so I feel grumpy or frustrated, but once I have that calm reassurance that things will be ok, whether through my husband, my sleep deprived baby, or through the Spirit, my attitude can change and I can weather the storm less burdened and more successfully. I am thankful for the perspective that comes from experiences like this; now hopefully I have learned my lesson and this phase will end sooner rather than later.
